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Family Resources
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 The recent passing of both Ted Williams and Terri Schiavo have highlighted the importance of making sure that your personal wishes are known and documented so they can followed in the event that you can no longer represent yourself. At Eternal Reefs we've received numerous inquires and questions about issues like living wills and final directives. We are not legal experts and do not represent that any of the following information is legal advise. Each state has differing laws and in some cases terminology. It is important to check the laws and legal requirements of your state as you prepare to address these critically important decisions.
There are two absolute facts that we've learned working with our families at Eternal Reefs:
- No one is promised tomorrow. All to frequently death comes suddenly and when we are least prepared to deal with it.
- Make your wishes known. When someone suddenly is unable to communicate or passes away, it leaves the surviving family members to deal with their wishes. Even if you haven't gotten around to writing down your desires, tell your family what you would like to have done on your behalf. Tell your friends, tell your doctor, your lawyer, your minister or rabbi. Tell everyone who is important to you and then ask their own wishes. In the best of families, under the best of conditions, there may be differing opinions as to what someone may have wanted done, and this is not the time for family disagreements. IT IS IMPORTANT TO TELL YOUR FAMILY WHAT YOU WANT.
We believe that there are four documents to an End-Of-Life plan:
- Advance Directives
- Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care
- Final Directives
- Last Will and Testament
Advance Directives
Advance directives are frequently referred to as "Living Wills." Generally speaking, the Advance Directive can be used to withhold or withdraw all forms of life-sustaining treatment, including food and water or it can be used to request extraordinary efforts be made to sustain life. It is in effect while you are still alive and is intended to address your health care when you cannot make your own desires known. Not having a written advance directive or living will was the central issue surrounding the legal issues regarding Terri Schiavo,
An Advance Directive should answer the following questions:
- What degree of life sustaining care do you wish?
- Do you wish to be resuscitated in the event of cardiac failure? A Do-Not-Resuscitate order is to be used to withhold only cardiopulmonary resuscitation.
- Do you wish to be allowed to die at home even if this means that certain life saving procedures cannot be done?
- Do you wish to be an organ donor? If so, what organs would you like to donate?
- Advance directives should be shared in writing with your immediate family and with your medical doctor and should be a part of your medical records.
Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care
This is a limited power of attorney that only addresses healthcare. It identifies the individual who has the final say when you cannot make your own wishes known. This person is sometimes called a healthcare proxy. In choosing a proxy to make decisions on your behalf, be sure they will be both willing and personally capable of following your wishes. They need to be strong enough to deal with other family members who may have differing feelings regarding your care.
Durable powers of attorney should be shared with your immediate family and your medical doctor and be a part of your medical records.
Final Directives
After someone has passed away their final directive identifies who they would like to be responsible for following their funeral and memorial wishes. It states whether they wish to be cremated or buried, or if they want their body donated and to whom. It establishes what they would like as a funeral or memorial service and how you would like your remains to be handled.
People frequently use this to identify their preference for pallbearers, music, hymns, who they wish to have eulogized them. Sometimes they include what they would like for an obituary and where they may find a last will and testament.
It should state if you have prearranged your services with a funeral home and if so which one and it should include all the details or your arrangement with the funeral home. If goods and services have been prepaid it should identify how it was prepaid and how to claim the funds.
It is important to note that this document in most states is a guide, but not necessarily legally binding [check your state laws] on the designee. Again, it is important to choose someone that will follow the directive. This was the central issue regarding Ted Williams and his wishes for a final memorial.
A frequent mistake that people make is to include their final directives as a part of their wills. In most cases the will is addressed after the funeral and memorial service has already taken place. Specific or unknown wishes make be overlooked when this information is made a part of the will.
Final directives should be shared with your family and friends. If you choose to be part of an Eternal Reef, tell them what your wishes are. If you have preplanned your funeral with a funeral home, provide the funeral home with a copy of your final directive.
Last Will and Testament
This document explains who you wish to complete your personal affairs [executor] and what you want done with your personal assets after you're gone. The more specific this document can be the better. This is an area that requires a great deal of legal expertise and the laws differ significantly from state to state. It is of particular importance when there are surviving minor children. Please consult an estate attorney in your area for advice in creating a will.
Final note…
The more specific you can be - the better off your family and friends will be. Different states have differing laws and families can't always accomplish everything we would want. Times change and what is impossible one day becomes routine the very next day. End-of-Life planning is about piece of mind, for both you and your loved ones'. Even if you don't get it done in writing, talk about your wishes to those that matter - they need to know.
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